Chapter 4
"Getting back on my feet once again"
"Getting back on my feet once again"
Keep on moving might been easy to be said that done. Who would’ve know how hard it is to fall and try to stand again. It will be even harder when the fall cause some fracture to your hearts. Getting up will be much more difficult than dying. All I did was I gather all my strength and try hard to wake up from the nightmare that almost cause me my future. I nearly jeopardize my own future and give up with life. And now I’m more confident with my life. Even I haven’t forgotten all about it but I keep a strong will to live a better life for my own sake rather that for someone else.
I started to smile again. I started to be me again. As I think of it, the world does not even care whether you lie on the bed every single day and cried. No one wants to know about it either. So there are no point of being in grief and missing what the world has to offer you. Why just let them (the one who puts me in a dark hole) are happy with whatever that they are having. Why not just show them that whatever that they did have make you one strong person and be mature with what have happen. Am I right?
Never know how hard it is for me to stand and keep on walking. How to be strong and be so calm at the same time? Well experience does help us to move on. They will give you courage to be stronger in order to prepare yourself with even bigger test to see how we can handle things. Allah will always test those who He thinks might go through the entire life obstacle. Another think is it show how He loved that person until He wants put him or her into such big test just to see how you manage them and be faithful to Him.
Since I always wanted to travel all around Malaysia with some friends, I think now would be the right time to do it. Just go out and be spontaneous. I may have lots of time to rethink about giving other the second chance. At least I can be more focus on traveling and conduct reunion among my classmate and schoolmates. Furthermore I can be more with my family when ever they need me. My friends have been so supportive throughout the years in helping me get up and get on my feet back on the ground. As thanks, I’ll spend as much time as I have to get involve with them once again.
Sometimes it does make me like crying when all they did was be there for me. Some of them even give me their shoulder for me to cry on. It was very rude of me to take such advantage over their kind heart and be selfish. To repay their attention over me, I’m working on a reunion with them and hoping that this would be the best gift that I can give them for now.
It does feel good to me again. I did lose myself when I was in love. I lost it because I was to busy wanting to be the perfect girl for him and his family. Having to think that he never did appreciates it make me feel like a fool. I’ve learn that when you love someone you have to take them as what they are and not something that they can be. Hypocrites is now the way to live your life. I will try hard not to be a hypocrite just like what I did when I was with him.
Life just seems to be at its place now. Mom and dad are not worried about me. I was not worried anymore. My brother has been so protective and he will always be in that way. My sisters try hard to make me forget everything. More and more things I’ve learn could make me realize how life is always goes ups and downs. But what’s important is how you go with the ups and downs of life and how you grow mature with it. May there will always be a lesson in every little thing that happen to us that could give us wondrous meaning as a human being in this very life.
